How do you encourage your children/stepchildren to love BOTH parents?

She is only 4 and love is to earned and not expected. Be kind and respect her confusion so don't push anything. You don't have to spoil her rotten pushing material things on her, but be her friend. Be there when she has tears from a skinned knee or any boo boo. Be there to praise her when she comes home from school and wants to talk about her day. Put her school projects up on the fridge and proudly display them. Take her to the park. You can also take her to work once in a while on a day off to show her around and feel like a special young lady. My fiance and I both have kids from prior marriages and love and trust are not given, it is earned and when you have it never break her trust in you ever.